The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize