I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Randomize
