The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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