just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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