I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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