so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
sex in a hospital.. check
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
