everyone is single if you try hard enough
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize