I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize