Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
