Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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