come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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