it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize