How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
