Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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