Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
