Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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