Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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