After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Hello my rib-scented angel!
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