is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
