so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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