i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
