Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
