Acid is not a monday night drug
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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