If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize