left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
