just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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