Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
