i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize