he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
