Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
