everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
