we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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