Sponge bath it is.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
