this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
There r osticjed everywhere
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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