just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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