Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
