Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize