so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
