we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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