Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
