literally had 100 drinks last night.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Randomize
