He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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