We won't sleep together?
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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