It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
