i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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