With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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