Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
