I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
So vagazzling was a success
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
