I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
