haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
