So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
