This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
