i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
