your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
