he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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