Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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